"Rusty, (You) Can't Be Serious" is a short scene that leads into the song that introduces the coaches.
Context[]
In the original 1984 London production, this scene showed us a short conversation between Pearl and Rusty and the other coaches. It established that, "ages ago", Pearl had tentatively agreed to race with Rusty. But Pearl needs to see more from her partner, leading into the song "A Lotta Locomotion"
The Broadway production removed both Rusty and Pearl from the situation. This left Dinah, Ashley and Buffy asserting that Pearl should tell Rusty "no", and reflecting on what they need from an engine.
The German production introduced what became the standard introduction for many years, where Rusty has left the stage, and Pearl is doubting her commitment to race with him. This version does not specify whether Pearl had committed to racing with Rusty, or whether she was considering it. This version was first used in English for the 1989 US Tour.
The 2003 US tour did not include this short scene, instead running from the paraphrased "Call Me Rusty" directly into "Whole Lotta Locomotion".
The UK tours have this scene running into Whole Lotta Locomotion, using the version used in later London and in Germany.
The scene was largely rewritten for the 2017 workshop and, subsequently adapted for the 2018 revisions in Bochum.
Lyrics[]
The coaches take it in turns to finish each sentence, in the order Ashley/Buffy/Dinah, for example:
| ASHLEY: | Rusty |
| BUFFY: | Can't |
| DINAH: | Be serious. |
1983 Workshop Lyrics[]
Buffy did not exist at this current point in time so the song was instead sung by Ashley, Dinah, and Pearl.
| ASHLEY - PEARL - DINAH: | Rusty / you can't / be serious |
| You / go in / for the race? | |
| ASHLEY: | You gotta be strong |
| RUSTY: | I am strong- |
| DINAH: | Not for long |
| PEARL: | You gotta have speed |
| RUSTY: | I have- |
| PEARL: | No you'll need it |
| A mixture of strength, | |
| Of power and length | |
| If you're gonna have pull where it counts | |
| RUSTY: | But Pearl you said you'd go with me |
| PEARL: | That was ages ago! |
| I have to feel more | |
| COACHES: | We have to feel more |
| We need to be certain | |
| We need to be sure | |
| PEARL: | I have to feel more |
| COACHES: | We have to feel more |
| We need to be certain | |
| We need to be sure | |
| PEARL: | I have to feel more |
| COACHES: | We have to feel more |
| We need to be certain | |
| We need to be sure | |
| PEARL: | I have to feel more |
| COACHES: | We have to feel more |
| We need to be certain | |
| We need to be sure |
Original London Lyrics[]
The original version contains a significant plot point, that Pearl had already committed to racing with Rusty, but now was having doubts.
| ASHLEY - BUFFY - DINAH: | Rusty / you can't / be serious |
| You / go in / for the race? | |
| ASHLEY: | You gotta be strong |
| RUSTY: | I am strong- |
| BUFFY: | Not for long |
| DINAH: | You gotta have speed |
| RUSTY: | I have- |
| PEARL: | No you'll need it |
| A mixture of strength, | |
| Of power and length | |
| If you're gonna have pull where it counts | |
| RUSTY: | But Pearl you said you'd go with me |
| PEARL: | That was ages ago! |
| I have to feel more | |
| COACHES: | We have to feel more |
| We need to be certain | |
| We need to be sure | |
| PEARL: | I have to feel more |
| COACHES: | We have to feel more |
| We need to be certain | |
| We need to be sure |
Broadway Lyrics[]
The Broadway production had Pearl leave with Rusty at the end of "Call Me Rusty", consequently "A Lotta Locomotion" was sung between Dinah, Buffy and Ashley.
| ASHLEY - BUFFY - DINAH: | Rusty? / He can't / be serious. |
| Him / go in / for the race? | |
| ASHLEY: | You gotta be strong |
| BUFFY: | Rusty's strong |
| DINAH: | Not for long |
| ASHLEY: | You gotta have speed |
| BUFFY: | Which he don't |
| DINAH: | What you need is |
| A mixture of strength, | |
| Of power and length | |
| If you're gonna have pull where it counts | |
| ASHLEY: | Pearl's a fool to go with him |
| BUFFY: | She should tell him no! |
| DINAH: | There's gotta be more |
| COACHES: | You gotta feel more |
| You gotta be certain | |
| You gotta be sure | |
| There's gotta be more | |
| You gotta feel more | |
| You gotta be certain | |
| You gotta be sure |
German Lyrics[]
The German arrangement, featuring all four coaches but without Rusty, became the standard used in most following productions.
| ASHLEY - BUFFY - DINAH: | Pearl / das kann / nicht wahr sein! |
| Er / macht mit, / ist dabei? | |
| ASHLEY: | Man braucht sehr viel Kraft. |
| BUFFY: | Hat er Kraft? |
| PEARL: | Genug. |
| ASHLEY: | Man braucht sehr viel Mut. |
| BUFFY: | Hat er nicht! |
| DINAH: | Wenn er's tut, wenn |
| Er glaub er sei' gut, | |
| Dann braucht er viel Mut, | |
| Sonst versagt er beim Rennen sofort! | |
| ASHLEY: | Pearl, wie kannst du mit ihm geh'n? |
| PEARL: | Was soll ich denn tun? |
| DINAH: | Man braucht so viel mehr! |
| ASHLEY: | Du brauchst so viel mehr! |
| COACHES: | Bist du dir ganz sicher? |
| Du brauchst so viel mehr! | |
| PEARL: | Ich brauche viel mehr? |
| COACHES: | Wir brauchen viel mehr! |
| Wir sind uns ganz sicher, | |
| Wir brauchen viel mehr! |
1st US Tour Lyrics[]
The most common version, used in the later London show as well as recent UK Tours.
| ASHLEY - BUFFY - DINAH: | Rusty / can't / be serious |
| Him / go in / for the race? | |
| ASHLEY: | You gotta be strong |
| PEARL: | Rusty's Strong |
| DINAH: | Not for long |
| ASHLEY: | You gotta have speed |
| BUFFY: | Which he don't |
| DINAH: | What you need is |
| A mixture of strength, | |
| Of power and length | |
| If you're gonna have pull where it counts | |
| ASHLEY: | You're a fool to go with him |
| PEARL: | Should I tell him no? |
| I have to feel more | |
| COACHES: | We have to feel more |
| We need to be certain | |
| We need to be sure | |
| PEARL: | I have to feel more |
| COACHES: | We have to feel more |
| We need to be certain | |
| We need to be sure |
Las Vegas Lyrics[]
The Las Vegas production made a lot of cuts and trimmed down the show to the minimum. This included reducing this scene to four lines, split between the coaches.
| ASHLEY: | Hey listen to the one man band |
| PEARL: | Rusty, you don't understand! |
| DINAH: | You'll be nowhere, you'll be last |
| BUFFY: | You ain't going nowhere fast |
2017 London Workshop Lyrics[]
| CONTROL: | Control! Control! |
| Listen up. | |
| Rusty, go and get the coaches | |
| From the marshalling yard. | |
| Now! | |
| BELLE - TASSITA - DINAH: | Rusty / cannot / be serious |
| Him / go in / for the race? | |
| BELLE: | You gotta be strong |
| PEARL: | Rusty's strong |
| DINAH: | Not for long! |
| TASSITA: | You gotta have speed |
| DINAH: | Which he don't |
| What you need is | |
| A mixture of strength, | |
| Of power and length | |
| If you're gonna have pull where it counts | |
| BELLE: | You're a fool to go with him |
| PEARL: | Should I tell him no? |
| (music shift to "Greaseball, excuse me a minute") | |
| GREASEBALL: | So who are you? You're brand new |
| PEARL: | I'm a first-class car. |
| GREASEBALL: | Well woo hoo hoo! |
| Where have you been hiding? | |
| PEARL: | In the siding, |
| Now riding on the mainline train line, | |
| But not with you | |
| GREASEBALL: | Well woo hoo hoo! |
| DINAH: | That's Pearl |
| She's a brand new girl | |
| And if you mess with her | |
| You're messing with me | |
| GREASEBALL: | Dinah, get back in the kitchen. |
| DINAH: | Incapable of feeding yourself, Greaseball? |
| NATIONALS: | Dining car, go and make the tea. |
| BELLE: | Hey don't talk like that. |
| ESPRESSO: | Hey listen to the sleeper |
| Are you her keeper? | |
| TURNOV: | A sleeper's not a keeper |
| She's a one-night blind date | |
| GREASEBALL: | Blind date's are never great |
| TASSITA: | Ssh! |
| RHINEGOLD: | What's that noise? |
| DINAH: | She's the quiet coach |
| Keep your noise down, boys | |
| TASSITA: | Ssh! |
| BELLE: | Take a walk with the talk |
| TASSITA: | I'm so quiet |
| COCO: | Does she think she's Bjork? |
| DINAH: | If you mess with her |
| You're messing with me | |
| NATIONALS: | Quit whining, dining car |
| Go and make the tea | |
| We're leaders of the pack | |
| You bring up the rear | |
| GREASEBALL: | Without us, you ain't going nowhere. |
2018 German Lyrics + Translation[]
| CONTROL: (German) | Hier ist Control, alle her hören! | CONTROL: (English) | Here is Control, listen up! |
| Ich hab einen neuen Wagen gekauft. | I bought a new car. | ||
| Hat mich drei Wochen Taschengeld gekostet | Cost me three weeks pocket money | ||
| Also behandelt sie gefälligst mit Respekt! | So please treat her with respect! | ||
| Sie heisst Pearl! | She's called Pearl! | ||
| PEARL: | Nicht stossen, hör auf! | PEARL: | Don't push, stop! |
| GREASEBALL: | Was ist denn das? | GREASEBALL: | What's that? |
| Ein Wagen der sich wehrt? | A car that fights back? | ||
| COCO: | Wie frech! | COCO: | How cheeky! |
| DINAH: | Hey, lass sie in Ruhe! | DINAH: | Hey, leave her alone! |
| COCO: | Haltet ihr euch daraus! | COCO: | Keep out of this! |
| DINAH: | Hört auf! | DINAH: | Stop it! |
| RUSTY: | Hey! Fass sie nicht an! | RUSTY: | Hey! Don't touch her! |
| GREASEBALL: | Liebend gern, | GREASEBALL: | I'd love to, |
| Aber dann kommt sie nicht mehr voran! | But then she won't get anywhere! | ||
| RUSTY: | Ich schaff auch einen mehr! | RUSTY: | I can do one more! |
| GREASEBALL: | Umso besser, ich geb sie dir her! | GREASEBALL: | All the better, I'll give her to you! |
| PEARL: | Ich bin Pearl | PEARL: | I am Pearl |
| RUSTY: | Ich bin Rusty | RUSTY: | I am Rusty |
| PEARL & RUSTY: | Hi. | PEARL & RUSTY: | Hi. |
| RUSTY: | Das ist Dinah, der Speisewagen | RUSTY: | That's Dinah, the dining car |
| DINAH: | Hi! | DINAH: | Hi! |
| PEARL: | Ich freue mich sehr! | PEARL: | I'm very glad! |
| BELLE: | Aber eins lass dir sagen, wenn du willst, | BELLE: | But let me tell you one thing, if you want |
| Dass wir uns hier auch vertragen: | That we get along here too: | ||
| Spiel nicht den Star hier sonst tut dir das leid! | Don't play the star here or you'll be sorry! | ||
| PEARL: | Hey, ich weiss gar nicht mal, wer ihr seid? | PEARL: | Hey, I don't even know who you are? |
| CARRIE: | Ich bin Carrie, der Gepäckwagen | CARRIE: | I'm Carrie, the luggage car |
| BELLE: | Ich bin Belle, der Barwagen, | BELLE: | I'm Belle, the bar car, |
| Und wir haben das Sagen hier! | And we're in charge here! | ||
| BELLE & CARRIE: | Halt dich daran, und wir halten zu dir! | BELLE & CARRIE: | Keep to it, and we'll stand by you! |
| COCO: | Genug gequatscht, hängt euch hinten dran! | COCO: | Enough chatter, get in the back! |
| DINAH: | Wir reden mit Pearl, also treib uns nicht an! | DINAH: | We're talking to Pearl, so don't push us! |
| Pearl, keine Angst, ich beschütze dich. | Pearl, don't worry, I'll protect you. | ||
| Mit mir respektieren die Züge dich | With me the trains respect you. | ||
| GREASEBALL: | Ach ja, wirklich? Das will ich sehn! | GREASEBALL: | Oh yeah, really? I want to see that! |
| Wenn ich sag „fahr los“, dann fährt sie schön | When I say "drive", then she drives beautifully | ||
| COCO: | Wenn ich sag: 'fahr zurück', gehorcht sie brav! | COCO: | When I say "go back", she obeys obediently! |
| GREASEBALL: | Die Regeln kennt sie schon bald im Schlaf! | GREASEBALL: | She'll soon know the rules in her sleep! |
| DINAH: | Greaseball, lass das! | DINAH: | Greaseball, stop it! |
| GREASEBALL: | Ach, klappe, Dinah! | GREASEBALL: | Ah, shut up, Dinah! |
| DINAH: | Nein, ganz bestimmt nicht! | DINAH: | No, definitely not! |
| Sie ist neu hier und verdient von euch Respekt! | She is new here and deserves respect from you! | ||
| COCO: | Ich glaub, du hast einen Defekt. | COCO: | I think you have a defect. |
| DINAH: | Also bring sie bitte hier, häng sie an uns dran. | DINAH: | So bring them here, please, hang them on us. |
| COCO: | Sag mal, was soll das? | COCO: | Say, what are you doing? |
| BELLE: | Jetzt stellt euch nicht an! | BELLE: | Don't make a fuss! |
| Es ist nicht mehr wie in den alten Tagen | It's not like the old days | ||
| Die Wagen haben jetzt das Sagen! | The cars are in charge now! | ||
| GREASEBALL: | Ohne uns, macht ihr keinen Schritt! | GREASEBALL: | Without us, you don't make a move! |
| BELLE: | Ohne uns, fährt bei euch keiner mit! Die Passagiere zahlen für mich | BELLE: | Without us, no one rides with you! |
| CARRIE: | Und mich | CARRIE: | And me |
| DINAH: | Und mich und entspannen sich. | DINAH: | And me and relax. |
| GREASEBALL: | Ohne uns seid ihr nur- | GREASEBALL: | Without us you're just- |
| DINAH: | Die Wagen haben das Sagen. | DINAH: | The cars are in charge. |
| GREASEBALL & COCO: | Ohne uns seid ihr nur- | GREASEBALL & COCO: | Without us you're just- |
| CARRIE: | Die Wagen haben das Sagen! | CARRIE: | The cars are in charge! |
| GREASEBALL & NATIONALS: | Ohne uns seid ihr nur- | GREASEBALL & GANG: | Without us you're just- |
| DINAH, BELLE, CARRIE: | Die Wagen haben das Sagen! | DINAH, BELLE, CARRIE: | The cars are in charge! |
| DINAH: | Hey, ist das klar? | DINAH: | Hey, is that clear? |
| GREASEBALL: | Ist... klar. | GREASEBALL: | It's... clear. |
| PEARL: | Wow, wie cool ihr seid! | PEARL: | Wow, how cool you are! |
| DINAH: | Er ist zwar mein Freund, aber das geht zu weit | DINAH: | He may be my boyfriend, but this has gone too far |
| Was die Kerle da machen, ist doch keine Kunst! | What those guys are doing is no art! | ||
| BELLE: | Wir sind nicht fur die Loks da! | BELLE: | We're not here for the locomotives! |
| CARRIE: | Sondern die fur uns. | CARRIE: | But they are for us. |
2024 Wembley Lyrics[]
| CONTROL: | Control, Control! Listen up! |
| I got a coach for my birthday! | |
| So just you show her some respect! | |
| She's called Pearl! | |
| PEARL: | Don't push! |
| Don't pull! | |
| GREASEBALL: | Did you hear that? |
| GREASEBALL: | A coach |
| Who talks back? | |
| CHAMPIONS: | What's next! |
| COACHES: | Okay, just leave her alone! |
| GREEN ARROW: | Did you hear something there? |
| COACHES: | Stop! |
| GREEN ARROW: | I heard it again |
| RUSTY: | Just leave her alone! |
| GREASEBALL: | If we leave her alone, |
| She can't race on her own | |
| RUSTY: | I can handle one more |
| GREASEBALL: | Okay bud, after you, she's all yours! |
| PEARL: | I'm Pearl |
| RUSTY: | I'm Rusty |
| PEARL & RUSTY: | Hi |
| RUSTY: | This is Dinah, the dining car |
| DINAH: | Hi! |
| This is Belle- | |
| Belle, wake up, we have a new star! | |
| BELLE: | What? Oh, yes, hi! |
| DINAH: | She's a sleeping car! |
| TASSITA: | Shhh! |
| PEARL: | I'm sorry, who are you? |
| TASSITA: | I'm the quiet coach- |
| PEARL: | How do you do? |
| (music shift to "Greaseball, excuse me a minute") | |
| TASSITA: | I'm Tassita |
| She's a noisy brute, | |
| How do you shut her up? | |
| PEARL: | Can you just press mute? |
| CHAMPION: | Hey, that's enough! |
| Time to hitch on behind! | |
| DINAH: | I'm talking to my new friend |
| Do you mind? | |
| Get lost! | |
| And keep the noise down as well! | |
| You've upset Tassita, | |
| Annd woken up Belle | |
| CHAMPION: | You think you'll impress us |
| By giving it large? | |
| GREASEBALL: | You do what you're told! |
| CHAMPIONS: | We're the ones in charge! |
| GREASEBALL: | Take the lead |
| From this pretty little miss | |
| If I say "move" | |
| Then she moves like this! | |
| GOLDEN EAGLE: | I say "go back!" |
| Look! She obeys! | |
| GREASEBALL: | She'll soon pick up |
| Our little ways | |
| DINAH: | Greaseball stop it! |
| GREASEBALL: | Shut it Dinah. |
| DINAH: | I won't "shut it" |
| She's the new kid on the line | |
| And she deserves some respect | |
| From you two jocks! | |
| CHAMPIONS: | Hey, little lady! |
| Get back in your box! | |
| DINAH: | Rusty bring her over her! |
| Hook her up to us! | |
| CHAMPION: | Hey watchu doing? |
| CHAMPION: | Quit making a fuss-! |
| TASSITA: | Shhh! |
| Quiet down, you boys! | |
| BELLE: | Yeah, that's right |
| We don't need your noise! | |
| GREASEBALL: | Without us, you don't go nowhere! |
| BELLE: | Without us, you don't get no fares! |
| The passengers pay to ride with me! | |
| TASSITA: | And me! |
| DINAH: | And me! |
| And I make their tea! | |
| GREASEBALL & CHAMPIONS: | Without us, you don't- |
| CARRIAGES: | Shhh! |
| GREASEBALL & CHAMPIONS: | Without us, you- |
| CARRIAGES: | Shhhh! |
| GREASEBALL & CHAMPIONS: | Without- |
| CARRIAGES: | Shhhhh! |
| GREASEBALL & CHAMPIONS: | - |
| CARRIAGES: | Shhhhhh! |
| GREASEBALL & CHAMPIONS: | Oh shhhhh! |
| PEARL: | Hey! |
| That was so brave! | |
| DINAH: | Maybe you are the one |
| That can make them behave! | |
| You're a first class coach | |
| Not some old bus! | |
| BELLE: | We don't work for the engines! |
| TASSITA, DINAH & BELLE: | They work for us! |
Videos[]
Starlight Express and Locomotion - Steven Skeels German TV 1988
from 2.41, this number is run into Lotta Locomotion.
A Lotta Locomotion - US Tour 1989